When Do You Stop Going On Playdates With Your Kid?

Every stage of childhood comes with parental struggles and conundrums. But as babies grow into toddlers and toddlers start heading to school, it’s often social dynamics with friends and classmates more than raising your own kid that become the biggest sources of puzzlement. Take a recent TikTok posted by Aime Sieh (@aimeesieh), who recounted a “weird situation” that occurred when her son invited a friend over for a playdate.

Sieh’s son, Tatum, is 6, and often gives out his mom’s phone number to school so his friend’s parents can set up playdates. He handed it to his friend, “Fred,” whose mom reached out to Sieh. After some back and forth about logistics, they set up a time on a Saturday afternoon for the boys to play at Sieh’s backyard splash pad.

Shortly before Fred was scheduled to arrive, his mother let Aimee know that his grandmother would be bringing him over. But Sieh was surprised by what happened next.

“The grandma shows up, kind of pulls up to the end of my driveway, hands me his swimsuit and is like ‘OK, we’ll see you in a couple of hours,’” she recounts. “I don’t know these people! I have never met them before. [Grandma] hasn’t even looked inside my house to check that we’re not complete weirdos.”

The kids played happily enough. Sieh even sent a video of the boys to “Fred’s” mom. But apparently, “hours and hours passed by” and there hadn’t been any word from Fred’s family. When Sieh texted to see if “Fred” would be staying for dinner, she said no thank you, she’d pick him up in 15 minutes, which she did.

“It’s just not how I expected the day to go,” Sieh concludes. “I expected her to show up with him, have a playdate for an hour, an hour and a half, and then for them to leave. Maybe I’m just making a big deal of it, because I’m a protective mama bear, but I wouldn’t drop my six year old at somebody’s house that I’ve never met before. Tell me if I’m overreacting or if that’s a little sketch.”

Reaction was thoroughly mixed in the comments. Some were totally on Sieh’s side.

“I have a 17 year old daughter and won’t drop her off at friends’ houses if I haven’t at least met the parents,” one person replied.

“Some parents are just different, it blows my mind,” said another.

“It’s odd for a first time play date,” mused a third. “But I honestly don’t remember my mom going to any of my play dates.”

But it seems like a slight majority were totally fine with the “drop off” style playdate.

“I never attended a playdate in my life,” said one commenter, who shared that they have adult children. “Maybe it’s a generational thing?”

“It is standard here in Germany, too,” offered another mom. “I love playdates with lots of kiddos running around here, but I tend to struggle with parent small talk.”

Others noted that, however one feels about it, the story is a reminder to clearly communicate expectations ahead of time so that everyone is on the same page, which is just good advice in general, TBH. As a parent of tweens, I want to reassure people that this is but one of the many questions you’ll have as your kids develop lives and interests outside of the walls of your house, with people you maybe only kind of know. Take a breath, talk to people when you can, and you’ll make it through just fine.