We Used To Identify With TV & Movie Teens, But Now We Side With The Parents

I’ve rewatched My So-Called Life pretty regularly since I was 16 — and when I first saw it, I never identified so deeply with any character ever like I did with Angela Chase. Her thoughts, her actions, and her wardrobe all spoke to me.

But now I’m 43, I’ve got two kids who are almost Angela’s age and let me tell you: I am now worrying, rolling my eyes, and scolding people way more like Angela’s mom Patty than ever before. Her conflicts, her thoughts about identity, her relationship (not with Jordan Catalano) all deeply resonate now. And Angela? A lot of times her behavior makes me cringe (even though I still love her anyway). What happened?

Well, time and wisdom and having children of my own, I guess. And it feels really weird. And I’m not alone!

Recently, we started a discussion with Scary Mommy readers about the fictional movies and TV shows they watched as teens that simply hit different now that we are parents approaching middle age. And not only did people have a lot of feels, but many of you had a lot of answers in common.

When we asked, “What teen movie is the epitome of, ‘the older I get, the more I agree with the adult,” our audience answered loud and clear.

The most popular answer? Universal hit classic and the best show to play in the background, Gilmore Girls. And not only are people identifying more with Lorelai these days, they’re also joining Team Emily and digging the grandmother energy.

“I’ve watched the show enough times that I started out on Rory’s side, then Lorelai’s, now I am on Emily’s side,” writes Kelsey.

“Lorelai is often childish and self centered,” agrees Amy. “Rory starts out fine but gets worse as she gets older. And then there’s Emily who definitely had her flaws but wanted what was best for the girls and was usually right.”

Respondents also used to think the mom from Mrs. Doubtfire was a party pooper — but now they understand her emotional responses on a cellular level (side note: Sally Field is brilliant in that role, I see it now!)

“Don’t you dare bring a pony in my house,” wrote Scary Mommy Brandi.

Katelen adds, “I remember as a kid thinking the mom was awful. Now it’s like, she set a boundary for her child due to bad behavior, dad completely disrespected said boundary and trashed their house now she needs to deal with it then he breaks in. I still love the movie but I can totally understand the mom now.”

In third place is another pick I totally agree with: Grease.

“A whole movie about changing who you are for someone to like you and to fit in, with songs about how ‘far’ you got with them,” writes Jacqueline. “It’s all so gross to me.”

Liz adds, “My mom always hated Grease for that reason and I didn’t understand until I became a mom myself.”

Readers also had a lot to say about Dirty Dancing, which, looking back, involves a 25-year-old guy seducing a 17-year-old that he’s supposed to be teaching dance. Age and power imbalances!

“I just re-watched this,” writes Melissa. “The law and order guy was right, he’s a grown man!”

“She is clearly being groomed,” adds Athena.

Here are some other popular answers:

“As a kid I thought Lois from Malcolm in the Middle was so mean. As an adult I realize I’d be yelling all the time too if I had 4 sons and Hal as my husband.”

“Home Improvement. I remember telling my dad the mom on that show was always cranky and I didn’t like her. Well, now I know why she was always cranky!”

“The Simpsons for me. I rewatched the early seasons that came out when I was a child pretty recently, and not only are they so much funnier, I just really feel for Marge. She’s so under appreciated in that family.”

“The show My So-Called Life. I was horrified the first time I was on Patty’s side!”

“Mrs Bennett in Pride & Prejudice. Every movie/TV adaptation painted her as such an unreasonable & ill-bred woman.Looking at the story now, she was desperately trying to make sure her kids weren’t left destitute. The only provision for that was marriageWhile I always understood Elizabeth’s reasons to not marry Mr. Collins, her mother’s reaction to her rejection makes a lot more sense to me now as an adult.”

“The Little Mermaid. Ariel yells, ‘I’m 16, I’m not a child.’ Oh hell yes you are. Sit your fin down and stay away from the surface.”

“Home Alone! The way Kevin talks to the mom… I would have left him alone on purpose!”

“Twilight. Lol. I’m no longer Team Edward or Team Jacob. I’m very Team Charlie.”

“Sound of Music. As a girl I dreamt of being Liesl. Then I wanted to be Maria. Now I just want to be baroness von Schneider or Uncle Max – standing in a corner with a drink commenting sarcastically on everyone and everything.”

“Mean Girls. I relate more with Ms. Norbury now that I could have ever imagined. I also teach at a high school and work part time as a bartender…..”

“I just recently watched Rent, and all I could think is that they should get jobs.”

In the end, though? Reader Jackie Warmke has a good point: “Every story about teenagers hits different now that I am parenting teenagers. From Jane Austen to Inside Out.”

It just goes to show you just how important perspective is. Now please, someone give Marge a weekend alone in a luxury hotel room and let’s also put Baby back in the corner.