This Mom Wanted Advice On If She Should Get Her 9-Year-Old A Training Bra

As a parent, navigating the wild world of puberty and bodily changes isn’t necessarily the easiest, most straightforward part of parenting.

One mom recently asked Reddit whether or not she should be buying her 9-year-old a training bra, arguing that she doesn’t “need” one just yet.

The mom explained that her fourth grader has been “begging” her for a training bra, though she feels that because her daughter has not developed breasts yet, she is hesitant to shop for one. She also notes that her daughter is an only child, noting that she might feel and act a little more adult than she should be for her age due to being around adults more often.

“She is very thin and doesn’t have anything that even looks like breasts yet! It’s just her and I so I feel like sometimes she acts more grown up than she really should because she spends a lot of time around adults. She’s always asking about when she’ll get her period and other things that she sees me have. I am very open with her about all questions and have no problems answering. I’m just so worried she’s trying to grow up too fast and getting a training bra is going to reinforce that it’s ok to do things at an earlier rate than necessary,” she wrote.

“But maybe this isn’t a big deal? She sees some of her girlfriends with them because they are starting to get small boobs and actually need them so I understand that side of things. Maybe I’m just overthinking it? Just looking for advice from parents who have already gone through this stage!!” she added.

After her post gained traction, commenters reminded the OP that even if she doesn’t feel her daughter “needs” a bra, she might feel more comfortable wearing one, especially if she’s changing in gym class or other activities around others.

“In 4th grade I wanted a bra but my mom wouldn’t buy me one because I was flatter than flat,” shared one person. “I wanted one because ALL the other girls had one and when we changed for gym class I was self conscious. I’m 37 now and I STILL think about how my mom could have spared me some embarrassment by just buying me a bra. Sports bra. Training bra. Anything would have been better than nothing.”

“My daughter is absolutely rail thin and flat and has had training bras for a few months,” added another. “I realized that while none of her friends were probably going thru puberty they wear them under shirts for sports and dance and my daughter wanted to fit in. It’s weird still to me that she wears them but if it makes her feel like she fits in better then so be it. She’s also 9 and going into 4th grade.”

“I absolutely agree with this,” echoed yet another. “I wasn’t flat flat at this age and could have used a training bra, but regardless of if I could have or not, all the other girls had one when changing for gym and I didn’t and it was VERY embarrassing. I think you’re very, very much overthinking this.”

Others noted that though she may not have fully developed yet, the process of breast development could bring pain or soreness when rubbing up against the fabric of her shirts, which a training bra could help.

In an update, the OP noted that she already ordered some training bras for her daughter, adding, “I love my daughter and my most important job is raising her to be a confident, kind and most importantly happy young woman.”

In response to another user, she noted, “I speak life into her any chance I get because much like you, I didn’t have anyone to do that for me.”

“Thank you all for the advice, and sharing your personal experiences for my benefit! I didn’t expect this post to get so many comments and it was pretty obvious that I was way over thinking,” she wrote.

“I purchased my daughter some bras on Amazon last night before we chatted, and then I was able to circle back and have a conversation with her at dinner and she wanted padded training bra’s. We talked through all the reasonings and I let her know my reasoning for my initial hesitation as well! I then did a Google search for padded training bras and she got to pick out some really cute ones! Everyone was right, it clearly made her feel confident and excited which is all that really matters at the end of the day. Thank you all!”

This is some healthy, positive mother-daughter love right here. We love to see it!