Husband Secretly Cheated On His Wife

Being supportive of your partner when they make a major lifestyle change can be a wonderful thing — but when does the support they expect from you cross a line?

That’s what Redditor u/Total-Dingo5709 wanted to know when he took to the popular “Am I The Assh*le” (AITA) subreddit, asking, “AITA for secretly cheating on our vegetarian diet that my wife made our family do?”

He explains how the diet began.

“12 months ago, my wife converted to a new religion, which included her giving up eating meat,” he wrote. “The whole family (me and our two young boys) were supportive of this, and we held a vegetarian-only dinner that night as a little sign of support.”

However, after around eight months of peaceful coexistence of herbivores and omnivores, things started to take a turn.

“Basically, along with not eating meat, my wife now no longer wanted to be around it.”

He writes that she started substituting vegetarian items for the family’s typical purchases.

“First, the pork in the house was swapped out for Jackfruit, eggs were swapped out for substitutes like Just Egg, Shirts were only bought from clean brands like Plant Faced Clothing, and Deodorants were swapped out for deodorant pills like GoScentless – you get the idea,” he said.

Not sure if I would personally go sans deodorant with two boys, but to each their own.

The Redditor explained that these changes had started to put a strain on the family.

“To say this was creating a rift would be an understatement, and eventually, I brought up to our wife that again, while we 100% support her in her decisions around these things, I didn’t think it should change things for the boys and me (unless of course, they wanted it),” he wrote.

“Wife argued that her values have changed, and that being around some of this stuff was really hard for her, and wanted us to support her.”

But, even their children were starting to feel the pressure of this change in diet.

“It had gotten so bad that the boys have friends bringing them meat from their houses since it was now completely gone from ours,” the Redditor added.

Tensions reached a head when his wife was away for a three-day business trip. With nobody to hold them back, the omnivores became more like carnivores.

“Basically, and I’m a bit ashamed to type this out – but the boys and I mostly ate meat, basically every chance we got,” he admitted.

But somehow, the secret slipped out when his wife returned, leading to a blow-out argument.

“After putting the boys to bed we argued for hours about how I was setting a poor example for the boys, that I should respect the decisions made by my wife, even if they’re ‘tough’ and ‘inconvenient.’ It’s hard to argue back, because I can see her side, but it boils down simply to just I don’t want to be vegetarian/vegan, and neither do the boys. AITAH?”

The comments by and large rallied in support of the suffering meat-lover, declaring him “NTA” — “not the asshole.”

“NTA. It’s clear that while you respect your wife’s choice to change her diet, it’s unreasonable for her to expect everyone to adapt to her way of eating without any regard for personal choice or preference. A marriage is a partnership, and key decisions—especially those affecting the whole family—need to be made together. Your kids deserve to make their own choices about their diets. It’s important to set boundaries —her dietary restrictions shouldn’t dictate what the rest of the family eats, particularly in her absence. If she values family unity, she must learn that compromise goes both ways,” one user said.

“NTA. My girlfriend is vegetarian and she has no problems with me eating meat, I just make sure that I handle all the prep and cooking of it myself. Your wife is free to make her own choices but it’s not fair of her to impose them on other people,” said another.

However, some people also pointed out that Redditor seemed to be suffering because he had not simply bought groceries for himself, depending on his wife’s domestic labor, and dubbed the situation “ESH” — “everyone sucks here.”

“ESH except the kids. Let’s take a moment to note that most wives do, in fact, decide on all the food and clothing for their household. Those kids have a father who could buy meat and cook it anytime, and that would be an argument between the adults. OP is acting like a helpless victim when he’s got two hands and a wallet,” said one user.

So, maybe everyone does indeed suck here. Either way, I hope they work it out for these kids, who seem like they might be missing their dino nuggets.